Fullmetal Insanity
by Amaz
Summary: CHAP. 3 IS UP! Ummm...lessee...dumb. Really, really, dumb. But if you read, you will like. I may even write another chappy if i get enough reviews.
1. Dumb Chapter 1

Fullmetal Insanity

Chupa: Hello faithful readers, and today we have Dizzy 7's new favorite anime, Fullmetal Alchemist.

Dizzy: Ummm… yes, so lets introduce the characters—

Chupa: SHUT UP!!!

Dizzy: sorry…

Chupa: SHUT UP!! So, here they are, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and Roy Mustang.

Dizzy: So, Ed, how do you feel being in Dizzy 7's new smash hit, Fullmetal Insanity?

Ed: Well, lemme tell ya, Dizzy, it was a load of fun. He is the shiznit, and I think he is the funniest guy ever.

Chupa: What about you, Al?

Alphonse: Well, I was quite honored when Brother and I were asked to be in this hilarious story. I always wanted to be a star.

Dizzy: And, how about you, Mustang?

Roy: Whatever…

Chupa: Ok, then, let's start the story.

Ed sat on the couch, with a Coke in his hand, watching the T.V., with a glazed look on his face. His eyes are no longer focused.

Suddenly, Al stumbled by, wearing clown shoes and a strange gothic tutu. On his face was an evil, brain slug. "AIIIIIEEEEEE!! BROTHER! IT'S DRAINING MY LIFE FORCE!!!! OH MY GOD!!!" Alphonse flew through the coffee table, crushing it instantly, and making a crater in the ground. " That's not that weird." Dizzy 7

walked in. "Yeah, I've seen weirder." Said Dizzy, grabbing Ed's Coke and finishing it off

"Awwww, I thought I had it with that one." Sighed Al dejectedly, and walked away.

A few moments later, Al walks in wearing a chicken suit." Okay. Memememeeeeeee…..City sidewalks, busy sidewalks  
Dressed in holiday style  
In the air there's a feeling like Christmas  
Children laughing, people passing  
Meeting smile after smile  
And on every street corner you hear

Silver bells, silver bells  
It's Christmas time in the city  
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring  
Soon it will be Christmas day

Strings of street lights  
Even stop lights   
Blink a bright red and green  
As the shoppers rush home with their treasures  
Hear the snow crunch  
See the kids bunch  
This is Santa's big scene  
And above all the bustle you hear

Silver bells, silver bells  
It's Christmas time in the city  
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring  
Soon it will be Christmas day!!!! sang Al, gasping for breath. "Too out of season." Said Ed, eyes not straying from the T.V. screen. "Definetely not very weird." Said Dizzy, slurping down some Dizzy 7 gelatin brand gelatin. "Erggg…" growled Al, throwing away the chicken outfit.

Suddenly, Al jumped out in a cummerbund, Etnies shoes, board shorts, and Fox Mulder sunglasses. " Cowbells, cowbells, cowbells, COWBELLS!!" chanted Al, doing the electric slide. "No, Uh-uh" said Dizzy and Ed while playing Mario Party 666: Satan Edition.

"Okay, guys, this one is really weird. This is a bunch of Satan worshipping woodland critters." Said Al, as he carried in a box of cute li'l critters. "Saw it on South Park. Not weird anymore." Said Dizzy, as he taught a frog how to play Warcraft while solving the mysteries of quantum physics.

"What about this??" Al brought them Play-doh that had evolved so that it could think independently. "No." said Ed, as the Play-doh slithered away, muttering something Anti-Semetic.

"AAAAAAAAA!!! I GIVE UP!!!" yelled Al, as he stomped away. " What was he competing for anyway?" asked Dizzy questionably. "An extra day." said Ed, without turning to Dizzy's direction. " An extra day for what?" asked Dizzy again.

"Oh, yeah." Said Ed, he unzipped the heavy zipper that was on his forehead. "Yeah, I always wondered why you had a zipper protruding form your skin." Said Dizzy, as "Ed" stepped out of his costume. Ed was actually Samara from the Ring! " Seven days…" said Samara, as she zipped up her costume and was Ed again. " AIEEE! I MUST GO MAKE COPIES!!!" said Dizzy, jumping up and running away.

" Yes…yes… run, my little guinea pig, you won't get far…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

--' okay, guys, don't let me write on Mondays anymore! It turns into an acid trip.

So, um…RxR, and any flames will be laughed at, showed to everyone at my school, sent to the president, to your mom so she can see what naughty words you used, you will get grounded, and then all copies will be sent to my super-intelligent Anti-Semetic play-doh.

(Note- I am not anti semetic. I do not hate Jewish people. Just so I don't get sued…)


	2. Dumb Chapter 2

Fullmetal Insanity chap.2

Dizzy, Ed, and Alphonse were walking down a aisle in the mall. " So…Ed, what are we here for again?" Ed was still walking, looking embarrassed and looking at his shoes. "You don't want to know." Dizzy looked annoyed. " Yes, I do. Hey, where is Al anyhow?" Suddenly, Al came bounding down the aisle on all fours. His metal armor made the floor shake with each bound. " We are here for Bunny Num-Nums right, big brother?"

Dizzy looked over at Ed. " BUNNY NUM-NUMS?! Dude, your brother is seriously fucked up in the head. I think you should get it checked out." Ed glared at Dizzy and put his hand on the heavy zipper on his forehead. " Don't make me go all Samara on you, dude." Dizzy backed up a few steps and gave Al a hearty pat on the head. " Yes. Bunny Num-Nums. Well, let's go grab some…before…they're all sold out!" said Dizzy nervously. Al suddenly grew sharp metal teeth and bit Dizzy's hand. " Ow!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! YOU TURD!! I'L BURY YOU!!!" Dizzy readies a punch, but notices Ed put his hand on the zipper. " Okay, okay, sorry."

The trio secures a box of Bunny Num-Nums. They start to walk home , but take a wrong turn in the Cul-de-sac. The nicely drawn anime background quickly turned to cheap American skyline and that was when they realized something very wrong had happened.

Out of nowhere, Dizzy was nailed in the back by a flying lump in a helmet shot out of a cannon. He and the lump broke thru three houses before coming to a rest. " Ed, will you read me the story about the kitty?" whimpered Dizzy, as he limped over to Al and Ed. For some strange reason, Double D and Eddy ran out from behind a house. " Ohhh, you must be kidding." said Ed, in disbelief. "Why, hello, newcomers." Said Double D, looking at them. " Hey, how come you guys are some much better animated than us?!" said Eddy, inspecting Dizzy's fingers. " Have either of you three seen Ed?" said Edd, still inspecting Dizzy, Ed, and Al. " You mean me? My name is Ed, too. " said Edward.

"No, we mean the dumb lump that tests out our scams for us." Said Eddy, matter-of –factly. ED walked up "Hey guys!!" Ed looked at Elric, Al, and Dizzy. " They're funny!!"

" Gee, thanks. I needed that." Said Dizzy. " I needed to know that I looked weird."

Suddenly, Kevin rode up on his bike…or what appeared to be Kevin, until closer inspection. " Wait a tic…Roy?!" said Al, looking closely. " ROY?!?!" said Elric and Dizzy in unison.

" Look, Fullmetal. It's not anything permanent. Kevin's my friend, he was sick, needed a sub, I filled in, because the army's having a strike. Just don't tell Riza, okay??" said Roy, with a Kevin-ish look on his face. Sara, Jimmy, Nazz, and Rolf walked up. Soon after came Johnny and Plank. Nazz walked up to Dizzy. " Hey. How's it goin', hot stuff?" Dizzy looked around. " Did I just get hitted on by Nazz??" Sara looked up at Roy. " Hey! You're not Kevin." Roy glared at Sara. " Look, just a temporary job. I hate a lot, so don't make it worse." Kevin Roy just rode away. "Well, it's been fun, but we should leave." Said Dizzy. They started to walk away, but Elric turned around and grabbed the zipper on his forehead. " Yes, I was wondering why he had a zipper on his forehead." Said Edd. Elric unzipped the zipper. " Seven Days…" Samara zipped up the zipper and became Ed again. " Ok, guys, let's go home!" Dizzy started singing. " Don't you…forget about me…oh oh oh oh, don't you forget about me…

Um…I hope you enjoyed it, and all flames will still be laughed at, showed to everyone at my school, sent to the president, to your mom so she can see what naughty words you used, you will get grounded, and then all copies will be sent to my super-intelligent Anti-Semetic play-doh.

( I am still not anti-semetic.)


	3. Dumb Chapter 3

Fullmetal Insanity Chap. 3

Disclaimer: No, but wouldn't be the shiz if I did own Fullmetal Alchemist?

"Hello…hello…guys..?" said Alphonse, walking into the front door. " I brought Chinese." Ed looked over at Al. " Al, why are you soaking wet?" Al looked down. " Oops…well, you guys said that you were in the mood for Chinese, so I swam to China." Now it was Dizzy's turn to look over. " Al, are you aware of the fact that there's a Chinese restaurant across the street?" Al looked out the window. "Oh. Well, so there is…" Al looked at the two older boys. Neither of them were looking at Al anymore. They were engrossed in Final Fantasy 9. Out of nowhere, a tornado of darkness came out of the floor. " Hey, what's that?" said Al, pointing to the cyclone. " "Hmmm…" said Ed , as he poked it and licked his finger. " It appears to be a swirling vortex of pure evil shooting from the seventh layer of Hell. Or Alabama. I can't tell." Ed licks his finger again." Hey, it tastes like eggnog!" Dizzy raised an eyebrow and looked at Ed. " Ya know, I don't think that my landlord allows this."

Suddenly, a plump figure stepped out of the vortex. He was wearing a latex rubber devil suit and had a giant spoon. " I am Phil, prince of insufficient light and the supreme ruler of Heck!" Phil looked at Al. " Hey, do you do the Robot?" Al glared at him. " What's Heck? And besides, I thought Satan's name was Lucifer." said Dizzy, looking in disgust at his rubber suit. " No, Lucifer is my cousin. You see, Hell is for major sins, but Heck is for minor ones. Like giving someone a hard pinch." Phil narrowed his eyes and pinched Ed. " Hey, I can pinch you all I want, cause I'm doomed already." said Phil, as Ed cried out. "Anyway, I will drag you kicking and screaming to the bloody bowels of Heck!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!" roared Phil, tossing his head back. "Why?" said Al, questionably.

" Ummm…" Phil opens a pink fuzzy Hello Kitty journal. "Dizzy, you for writing dumb fanfiction, Ed, you for using a strategy guide on Tetris, and Al, you for the death of Jimmy Kofka."

" Wait a tic, Phil. Doesn't killing someone count you in for Hell?" said Ed. Phil flipped through a few more pages. " In most cases, yes, but in the Kofka case, no one really missed him. So you are sentenced to Heck."

" One more question." said Dizzy. " What??" said Phil, glaring at Dizzy. " It says in the Bible that the pain you indure in Hell is equal to what you did in life. Since Ed, for instance, is being sent to Heck for using a strategy guide on Tetris, he should endure something small, insignificant, and painless." Phil flipped a few more pages. " Yes, that's right. But you, Dizzy, will get the worst punishment Heck has to offer. Writing dumb, pointless, plotless Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction is right up there next to eating edible napkins." Dizzy got an anime stress mark. " Eh! No! That's not cool!" Phil swallows a pill and acquired a deep, intimidating voice. " Dizzy 7, I sentence you to a lifetime of smacks with a wet noodle!!" Phil pulls a baby boom box out of the latex. He pushes the button and dramatic music floats out. "MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! Alright, step nice and orderly into the creepy vortex of pure almost-evil."

"Erm…" said Ed, not moving. "You're kidding." said Al, not moving either. " Surely you jest." said Dizzy, plopping down on the couch and popping in a tape of Mayonnaise the movie. " No, dammit! Go into the eggnog vortex!!" said Phil, poking Al with his spoon.

" That's it! Cue the evil fury music!" A lesser demon popped out of the vortex and cued evil music. Britney Spears started playing from the radio. "Aiiieee! No!" Phil takes out the tape, turns it around and plays the evil music. " Hmmm, if I'm right, listening to Britney Spears lands you a nice little niche in Heck." said Dizzy, flipping through the fuzzy diary. Dizzy reached into Phil's pocket. "Are these the pills that make your bowel movements smell like cinnamon rolls, or are these the voice ones?" Phil studied the wrapper. "These are the bowel ones. Here you go, these are the voice ones." Dizzy took one. "Phil, prince of insufficient light and supreme ruler of Heck, I sentence you to be the monkey boy for Bob Dole for all eternity!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!" said Dizzy. "AAGGGHHH!!! No!" cried Phil, as the vortex grabbed him and sucked him in. The vortex closed.

"Have you ever noticed all the weird stuff that happens to us?" said Al, as they were eating kung pow chicken that Al brought from China and watching Mayonnaise the movie. " Hey, Al, you're right! It does taste better when it comes from authentic China!" said Dizzy, swallowing a piece of shrimp. " Yeah, Al, I have. It's all really odd." said Ed as the anti-Semitic play-doh slithered by, still whispering anti Jewish statements. " You know, Al, you really should get rid of that thing." said Ed, looking at it. "I keep it for the shock value." said Al, eyes not straying from the mayonnaise.

Phil stared at the trio from his mystic ball of evil and naughtiness. " I will get you, scum…one of these days…MWAHAHAHA!!" laughed Phil, throwing his hands up. " Go to sleep, Phil…" said his wife, turning away from him and going to sleep. " Yes, Martha." Phil turned and went to sleep.

So, whaddya think? This has been my favorite one so far. Please R and R!!


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